Looking at me

Life is spread out before my eyes and me its unwilling understudy. I’ve been looking through a magnifying glass for a long time now, trying really hard – maybe too hard – to understand the comings and goings of this life. I scrutinise everything, analyse everything and hopefully draw out useful lessons. But as meticulous as I am in my observations I can’t help this feeling of growing frustration. It appears life is too much for me to comprehend. The more I observe the more theĀ  need for more observation. So it makes me a little bit weary. I don’t want to bow out of the stage called life still lacking in understanding, still peering grimly into divine, human and natural orchestrations and trying to make sense of them. Surely there must be a ready-made answer to all this, if not what is the point of it all, life I mean. Lately though, something illuminates my mind. Perhaps I have been looking through the wrong window. I’ve been trying to understand the world without me in it. Always looking across to the other side to see how it all fits in. Foolishness of the highest order! So you know what I did? I came out of myself and started to look at me, studying me mingling with the world. Oh beauty! I saw myself, not as the detached observer, but as part of the divine whole. Just as the big man upstairs saw me – at least I hope so. I saw me laughing, crying, weak, strong, loving, not so loving, up, down……and voila! It suddenly makes sense…the world I mean.

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